Fragile is the heart that grieves
For it cannot express all it feels
Emotions changing like the wind
Beset with tears at any time
Life, a fleeting moment
A blink of an eye
A moment in time
Leaving those behind who mourn
For a life they cannot share
And a death they cannot comprehend
For it is a finite privilege.
Life too does pass
The contract with the One
That only that Soul knows
And so to an external sleep they go
Until reunited at a later stage
We who remain
Will wait, in Love.
~Irene Fitzpatrick 

It has been four months down the track since my mum died—technically four months on Jan 27th. It feels longer. Lately, I have been feeling a little sad and missing her still. I think it is because I wish my parents were here physically to see what I’m doing with my life although I know they know—you might understand what I mean.

It’s the newness of starting over again, finding a permanent home and beginning my holistic massage practice in Melbourne after being in Canada for over 20 years. I guess my parents were always here before when I came to visit up until my Dad died seven years ago and my mom last fall. Even after Dad passed, Mum was still around so it was nice to have her constant presence in my thoughts, during my visits and so on …in a sense, because I lived in Canada until last year. I really enjoyed hanging with my mum when she wasn’t in “her stuff” because I actually loved seeing her. It’s a strange thing if you have the gift of watching your parents age because on some level it is surreal. When they reach a milestone age, you still feel or think they are at a certain age and almost get surprised if they have some confusion or whatever. They are supposed to be your parents after all–lol.

As I write, I feel the tears behind my eyes just beginning to creep out. I often say “Love ya, Mum” and “Love ya, Dad” and I expect that they hear it. I also just saw the movie Lion which triggered me on many levels, one level being the support of the parents in this movie of the main character’s decision to search for his birth family. I am thankful I had parents who were also accepting of the fact I wanted to search for my own birth family even though they grew up in a time that mostly frowned upon children being born out of wedlock. They totally opened their arms to my and my younger brother’s birth families when we did find them.

So within all the history and now the grief, there is still this immense gratitude I was chosen by these people to be given a life.

Thank you, Mum and Dad. Always in my heart.

Irene is a Holistic Massage and Reiki practitioner who believes that healing the body heals the mind. In June of 2016, she relocated back to Australia after living in Vancouver, Canada for 23 years and is in the process of building her business Healingintuit. Her treatment is a combination of relaxation/deep tissue massage and/or Reiki, but she also relies on the body to guide her how to work and what information it needs to relay to the person.

Irene holds a Diploma in Health Science-Massage and an Advanced Level in Reiki as well as attended many trainings and courses to support her belief that learning is done through lifelong self-awareness. If you want more information about Irene’s services, you can visit her website or via email