The Pain and the Pleasure and the Call of the Divine Feminine

feel it. the thing that you don’t want to
feel. feel it. and be free.
~Nayyirah Waheed

THE SET UP: The fast-moving energy that’s opened up new doors of possibility and a good dose of Divine Chaos since the New Moon in Aries has us stopping at an important inner check-point this weekend.

The Full Moon in explosive, alchemical Scorpio on April 29th at 6:57 pm MST has a powerful invitation for each and every one of us.

Feel. It. All.

Where does the pain lie in you? Is it a belief you have? A habit you can’t break? A story you tell? The abuse you received? A secret under lock and key?

You may have read about this Full Moon already.

It’s a Divine Storm that’s swirling up many intense emotions that cannot be numbed out or tucked away this time.  This Storm is designed to cleanse and transform those inner spaces so the deep power, love and wisdom of the Divine Feminine settle in once the Storm passes through.

For those who like to move in the Light, the dark side of this Scorpio Moon is a hard one to face.

But we must.

Pain repressed always comes to the surface in one way or another. Frozen feelings erode relationships, health, finances and dreams to a greater degree than any of temporary pain we’d feel by tearing off the lid on the box that keeps those feelings inside.

You may project the unexamined feelings onto a colleague, a stranger, a friend or a lover. You may see the pain morph into a skin condition, depression or digestive issues. If we chronically refuse to feel and release our pain, the stress wreaks even greater damage to our well-being.

“Hell is not fire and brimstone,
not a place where you are punished
for lying or cheating or stealing.
Hell is wanting to be somewhere different
from where you are.”
~Stephen Levine

So we are left with the sting of our Scorpion wounds until we bring the sacred medicine to heal them. This shadow work is not the most sought-after path in the game of Ascension, but we can’t avoid it if we are to truly break free.

Turning up the heat of this Full Moon is our planet of expansion, Jupiter who is transiting Scorpio for most of this year and is retrograde right now, calling us home to meet our Inner Healer.

These are times to go within, call on a counsellor, your guides, your angels, your best friends along with the archetypal energies of the Detective, the Therapist and the Healer to do some digging on your soul’s behalf. (Please seek out professional, compassionate support if something feels too big for you to move through yourself.)

The Scorpion archetype of the Snake will help us shed our skin after we’ve done the deep contemplation and processing of our emotions. We can ask for compassion and grace in the process. When we do this emotional work, we allow the Phoenix to turn our old stories into ash before we are rewritten as the Eagle who knows and lives the Higher Vision of our Life Plan.

We no longer feel hostage to our emotions, but develop curiosity about our triggers, desiring not to stay in negative states for too long without questioning why we are feeling a certain way in the first place.

This new way of relationshipping with our emotional selves allows us to release the disempowerment we felt as the Victim, so we can be guided by our emotional reactions when they do surface, knowing they have lessons to teach us about the edges of healing we’re walking.

I have learned through tapping into the Scorpio archetype of the Edgewalker that I will not be annihilated by the dark feelings when I consciously and compassionately feel them. I’ve also learned that feeling the good ones does not make me immune to the pain I experience when someone I love leaves, criticizes, lies, becomes sick or even dies. I now know I won’t die.  This too shall pass.

“Your pain is the breaking of the shell
that encloses your understanding….
And if you could keep your heart in wonder
at the daily miracles of your life,
your pain would not seem less wondrous than your joy.”
~Kahlil Gibran

When we feel the pain we leave room for more moments to experience the bliss. Scorpio’s devotion to sexuality, sensuality and pleasure of the archetypal path of the Lover and the Tantrika is also up for us to explore. Our sexual energy is a powerful wave of how we express Love and one of the most transformational energies we humans can tap into.

Before we experience the intimacy and bliss of soulful sex or delight in the sensual pleasure of being human, we may find deeper healing and reconnection have to be done in the relationship to our bodies where emotional and physical hurts and traumas have been stored in the cells of our bodies.

With great compassion and care, this Full Moon might be your time to reflect on the relationship you have with your body or review your sexual relationships to see if you have experiences you need support with to heal.  For those courageous souls who have experienced assault, molestation or rape, please as an act of great self-compassion, seek professional support to receive the healing you so deserve.

The recent move Saturn (our Inner Teacher) and Pluto (our Radical Transformer) made into Capricorn, both of which are now retrograde for many months to come, call us inward and remind us we all have a spiritual responsibility to ourselves, one another and Mother Earth to take care, to receive and extend help, to do the work, to move through shock and trauma to love.

A TIMELY REMINDER: In 2006, my intuitive mentor was giving me my first intuitive reading. She had tapped into my reluctant feelings about reincarnating in this lifetime because I saw how painful the first half of my life would be, but I would take on the pain along with the power, wisdom and love I’d gain in this Lifetime because of what I would learn and who I might help through my own healing.

While many of you might have been more eager than I apparently was to come to Earth School, we all agreed to walk the hero’s path, the heroine’s journey.

We have brothers and sisters living in areas of this world who do not have the resources we do to heal from these types of wounds–yet. When we do our healing work in our part of the world, our love and light shine brighter in theirs—we create energetic, luminous pathways that provide the resonance of healing, hope and possibility and a light at the end of a long, dark tunnel.

OUR OPPORTUNITY FOR LOVE: Four years ago under a Scorpio Sun, I was shown in a meditation shocking scenes of two small boys who had been recruited as child soldiers, hovering together under the canopy of lush jungle trees. Then in another part of the world, I saw two little girls no older than ten years of age being sold for sex in the streets of Southeast Asia. Whether these children were real or not, I was traumatized by what I saw and what I felt, feelings of powerlessness, grief and rage swept over me, knowing that children are living out these horrors.

I sought out guidance. People wiser than me told me that I was not helpless and I could do something in my inner emotional work and in my meditations. I dedicated many months of my spiritual practices and energy work to those four children and the millions of others with the intention of sending them love and creating a safe haven in whatever way I was shown to do on those inner planes.

Later I would read a profound insight into the Scorpio intent by astrologer Per Henrick Gullfoss who writes that Scorpio “is the great ocean of feelings, images and longings that connects each individual to the inner space of humanity.” I understood on a deeper level why I had seen those four children in my meditation.

Our soul is looking for those places and spaces that hurt, have been violated, feel shame and guilt, so we can blast them with love and compassion, understanding that on a deeper level when one of us heals, we all heal.

“Love is the cure,
for your pain will keep giving birth to more pain
until your eyes constantly exhale love
as effortlessly as your body yields its scent.”
~Rumi

THE CALL OF LUNAR LOVE: Do the work of knowing and loving yourself this weekend and every day after.

Tell someone you feel safe with what you’ve been through or what you’re going through right now. I’m here and I’m willing to listen and witness the light in you, too.

Do something beautiful from the heart dedicated to your soul this weekend, something that will honour you and this heart-breaking and heart-opening journey you are on.

The Divine Feminine in all of us knows and delights in your power, your beauty and your resilience, and She is ready to show you how to experience transformation through acts of Love, great and small.

Feeling it all with you,

**The beautiful picture above is by the brilliant fantasy artist Josephine Wall, used with her permission.