Full Moon in Sagittarius: Why We Must Tell Hard Truths

While George Floyd’s words, “I can’t breathe” will haunt me for a long time, these words shattered me:

“Momma, I’m through.”

Momma.

Lonnae O’Neal writes in her stirring article the significance of those last words for a man whose life was about to end at the hands of racism, of police brutality, of apathy, of ignorance, of centuries of white supremacy.

Lonnae admits she didn’t want to watch another police snuff film, but as a black mother, she understands it is her sacred charge to watch the video of the officer on bended knee deliberately, violently squeezing the life out of George’s body.

She explains it was George’s way to be seen by his mama, to be remembered by her while his pleas for his life were being ignored by the man with his knee on George’s neck, while bystanders begged for his life too.

I have no desire to offer in this Love Note an explanation of how the planets in the sky offer insight into what’s going on in the world right now. Astrology, a love language that has been a direct path to self-realization, entirely fails me now.

I know as a white woman I do not have much to offer in explaining the disease of racism, the sickness of apathy, the pandemic that is white supremacy.

I listen to BIPOC Intellectuals and Activists and I look to them as Leaders to shed light on my ignorance and to educate the white masses in how to unravel the unfathomable effects of hundreds of years of colonialism, of slavery and systemic racism intricately interwoven with heavy hitters such as capitalism, patriarchy, individualism and heteronormativity.

I’m a white woman of privilege who just learned about how my white fragility enables racism and white supremacy to perpetuate. White fragility: a term Robin DiAngelo explains points to the anxiety, discomfort and even defensiveness of white people when we talk about race and white supremacy and entitlement.

But I don’t care anymore about how uncomfortable I might be in discussing this issue.

I feel it’s my sacred responsibility to George Floyd and other black and indigenous people who’ve been isolated, abused, threatened, attacked, economically marginalized, humiliated and murdered at the hands of systemic racism and white supremacy for hundreds of years to allow the discomfort, the confusion, the sadness and the anger to permeate my being right now, so I don’t feel any other way than I do.

I want to remember the horror I felt watching George Floyd be murdered by a white police officer, watching his body twitch as his heart stopped beating. I want my heart to shatter again and again and let Truth glue those pieces back together.

I want to remember while George was begging for his life, he was also calling out for his mother.

I can no longer live positioning myself outside of this man’s life and thinking George’s murder was a single incident of one white racist police officer. Nor can I live acting as if I’m insulated from this world’s dark shadow of white supremacy.

I must see my white privilege and our country’s white supremacy for what it is and ask myself, the Higher Power of my understanding and the Heart-Centered Warriors for Love to show us how to transcend the injustice in practical, material ways.

DiAngelo recommends ongoing self-awareness and devotion to continuing education to transform the ignorance, relationshipping with people of colour and actual anti-racist practice to understand the deeply complex dynamic of racism.

I will do better, my brothers and sisters of colour.

I can imagine the 10+ things I’ve written here that shed light on my ignorance. Educate me while I educate myself.

Because the part of me that loves will not spiritually bypass here. I’m committed to deeply listening, hearing your truth, praying for and with you, devoting time to learning, vowing to be part of lasting change that transmutes the effects of racial injustice and the lethal agenda of white supremacy.

Our actions must speak louder than our words.

Because George Floyd used his last words to beg for his life and to call out for his mama–and his words failed to keep him alive.

We must do the right thing and be part of the tide that turns us inside out, wave after wave of real change in the ways we are afforded and aligned to do.

Some will lead while others will write, make calls, call racism out, attend protests, educate children, influence policy, change legislation, have tough conversations.

We can do hard things for Love.

We have to.