Full Moon in Virgo
Mercury Direct in Aquarius
March 9, 2020 at 10:47 am Pacific / 1:47 pm Eastern
In the 19th degree of Service, Desire & Emotional Resilience
To the Virgo (in all of us) in Service to Love:
Life ain’t been no crystal stair.
Like a ceremonial drum, the beat-beat-beat of this one line of a Langston Hughes’ poem, called me to rise this morning before my alarm ever had a chance.
I tried to go back to sleep, shut off the hum of those words, but the energy preceding this Virgo Full Moon lured me out of bed, into our living room where I was greeted by the seductive rays of Lunar Love pouring into the room. I bowed to her Great Goddess Light.
The mind can be a curse for someone who lives to learn, whose brain runs round the clock, who sometimes scrambles to put her thoughts into tiny, beautiful boxes before the lightness of the words and the learning she loves become stuck in the icky places of the subconscious where the Critic lies…
…in bed with the Perfectionist, filling themselves up on a diet of “self-loathing” and “I’m not enough.”
You know this duo.
The Critic and the Perfectionist (C & P) working hand in hand, burrowing their way into your inner dialogue before reflecting all sorts of anxieties, insecurities and disappointments out into the world, showing up as a hurtful comment from a friend, an unkind remark from a colleague, a cruel diatribe from a “well-meaning” parent.
I confessed to my friend the other day, “My job is killing me.”
Who said that? I wondered.
First of all, not once, never, as an adult have I called my work my job. I love the essence of what I do.
My Great Work.
A Virgo-infused sentiment that calls us to unfold our sacred offering of what meaningful service to Love is.
The Great Work is something we feel called to do. We must do. Most often we think it’s our job, but it’s more of a tireless movement, an inner longing to create something of lasting value in the world that could take form in the work we get paid to do, but it could also be the families we create, the causes we support, the love we have for the planet.
The Great Work will eventually bring us all to our knees, forcing us to see on any given day if our faith or our fear is stronger, calling us to surrender when the resistance has grown too strong at any point in time.
The caterpillar into the cocoon into the butterfly, over and over, shapeshifting us each time into the One who has the love, the faith, the courage, the resilience to endure the times when it’s hard to be the caterpillar slowly inching along and even harder in that chrysalis of no return.
Having accepted our devotion to the Great Work, knowing parts of us will want to keep us from growing, once we understand that sometimes we’ll feel the pain of being the caterpillar liquified in the cocoon, we’ll go in search of the tools, the practices and the guides that support this evolutionary process.
My job is killing me.
I saw the ink-black energy of those words flying out of my mouth until I saw them be absorbed into the vastness of the sky.
Was this true?
I heard a trembling voice, which sounded a lot like mine, plead my case:
I sit all day. Every day. And you know sitting is the new smoking. I’m 50 years old–what have I really accomplished? I have no time to exercise, to connect with friends, to hang out with my mom who said she talked to me more when I lived out of town. There’s so much to do. When I’m not with my clients, I’m alone a lot of the time–too much some days. Lately, I can feel the dark clouds roll in long before I ever see them.
“All in Service to True Love, don’t forget,” C & P poke whenever they see I’m up too high or down too low.
What have I done? What have I said?
I didn’t care.
It felt good to admit that I’d been struggling a little, some days a lot, that this belief “my job is killing me” had been lurking in the dark corners of my mind for a while, asking to see the light of day.
I’d said it and like a prisoner who’d just sprung free from behind her bars, I was delighting in my newfound freedom while still looking behind me to see what karmic repercussions would hunt me down.
And a couple days later, I did get caught, in the middle of a yoga class. During the third cycle of an inhale/exhale holding up my downward dog, the Witness switched on the light to set the record straight.
“You’re killing you,” She mercifully said.
Ahhh, yes. The truth of the matter.
The years of inner practice, of daily ritual and weekly ceremony coalescing for this moment of clarity.
When we give ourselves the time and space to quiet the mind, we eventually see the patterns of our resistance more clearly and where we have carelessly directed our projections. We see the mental conflicts, the self-limiting narratives, the inner dialogue running amok causing all sorts of drama.
But when we grow tired of the chaos and want to understand why some things never change, we invite the Witness to step forward, leaving C & P behind.
And even through the simple act of noticing, the Witness’s lovingly detached gaze has the power to create a space between our thoughts wide enough to allow the soul’s love and soul’s light to dissolve the victim story and the ego’s agenda so we emerge from the chrysalis to continue our Great Work as the Butterfly.
Your Full Moon Invitation
Often the quickest way through the tough stuff is to honor that it’s there in the first place.
Do you have a confession to make? What’s on your mind you’ve been longing to release?
The Virgo Servant in all of us has been taught to be stoic, put on masks of resilience, wear badges of determination, working so hard to show that we have it all together when we’re one breath away from falling completely apart.
Yes, sacred ceremonies, meditation, visualizations, mantras, prayers, energy work, tapping–all of them work.
And sometimes what we need is to fess up that life ain’t been no crystal stair.
This Full Moon you might feel compelled to admit where your life’s felt hard, how you might be swimming in some murky waters right now, how your heart’s been shattered and you’re not sure if it will ever heal.
Maybe you need to share the doubt you feel about a relationship you’re in, the fear your business is not going to make it, that you’re one paycheck away from living on the streets, that you’re tired of being alone, exhausted from feeling like a failure, a fraud, a freakshow or whatever the duo C & P would have you believe.
Because that’s not the soul talking, my friend.
That’s the small self who’s heard a lot and seen even more, whose twisted and turned some god-awful stories into what she thinks is the god-given truth.
So this Full Moon, if you’ve been going through a tough time, unburden yourself.
Ask to be witnessed. Find one of your Big-hearted Brothers or Goddess Sisters to listen to you, the Friend who welcomes the tears and understands the rage, the one who will hand you some ice cream long before handing you her advice.
Allow yourself to be consoled and comforted, to feel the sweet relief of letting this sad, lost, tired part of you be acknowledged, to be seen. (If you’ve no one to share, I’m an email message way. Please send me your story here.)
The most impactful gift you could ever give anyone in your life is to do the Great Work–on the inside first, remembering your soul’s commitment to find all the parts of you that were placed in the dark, healing each one with powerful Priestess truth-telling and wild Goddess love.
A Virgo Full Moon in authentic service (hell yes, C & P I’m going to say it) to True Love wouldn’t want it any other way.
Sending you waves of light and love
for whatever your Great Work is today,
6 thoughts on “Full Moon in Virgo: When Your “Great Work” Doesn’t Feel So Great Anymore”
Jenn – I am crying reading this piece. I feel like nearly every word of it applies to me at the moment. I see/feel the road ahead and the fatigue sets in again. But then I notice that meadow of wildflowers you and I talked about a month or two ago, that space that I can simply sit, breathe, and contemplate in. Figurative of course as yesterday it was my yoga mat.
My heart is deeply grateful for you and others who listen and support as this in turn allows me to do the same in my personal and professional life.
Awww, I’m tearing up reading about what you’ve been feeling as well. Sometimes life just hurts and when I step back, I can see just how damn precious it is–even just to breathe on the mat with the light streaming in. So grateful to be journeying with you in the many ways you and I get to do that, Mridula! Love and light.
Beautiful Jenn. So much resonates and it’s funny you speak of your Great Work, the first time I heard of that expression was from YOU. Lately, I’ve questioned it myself and have asked, “is this how it’s supposed to feel?” Thank you for your humility and honesty, not sure it’s possible to respect you even more.
I did some writing last night (even though the Full Moon is today) and it started off being a little honest (a little) about how I was feeling, not being sure if this should be a ‘negative’ journal entry, yet the realness of my emotions came through. They soon turned into more loving, hopeful and ‘reality checks’ that transitions and growth aren’t always meant to feel wonderful. So I allowed the honesty of THAT and the reminder that I AM OK and will be OK.
Thank you again, looking forward to doing the tarot spread you shared! Lot’s of love to you xo
Lisa!! Thank you. Your words mean so much.
I had a Master’s degree in pretending that everything was so great and I’ve learned over the years that faking that everything is easy doesn’t serve my heart, nor is it fair to the people who are suffering in silence like I used to do.
I love my journal for letting all the shite out so that I can write and speak with a more loving note–and when it’s not enough to write, thank goodness for Mother Mary, Archangel Raphael (who seems to get the brunt of my complaints), my oh so patient man and my goddess beautiful sister friends. Love you lady and your BIG HEART!!
Oh Wow thank you for sharing this! I could so feel this in my bones. Growing up with a Virgo father and Virgo rising mother C&P were alive and well in my house and my mind. I’ll be calling in the witness for a little detached clarity. Love you xoxo M
Oh I’m sure you could related then!! Sun and Neptune in the sixth house (of Virgo) and South Node in Virgo–I’d say my karma/dharma is raising the vibration of the less evolved expressions I’ve engaged in with the archetypeal energies of the sign–including the C&P programs (I LOVE that you referred to them as this–lol and thank you). And yay to the Witness–she sure loves you–as do I!! xo