But I ached to make a bigger impact in a way that my head could not rationalize.

I grew very despondent and then physically ill, not knowing why I was so unhappy or sick when I seemed to have all the ingredients for a happy life.

I didn’t realize that by not dealing with my problems rooted in many painful and traumatic incidents in my childhood, I was blocking myself from even knowing what would make me happy or what type of relationships would bring me the passion and the intimacy I longed for.

Maybe you can relate.

Being self-employed since I was 25, I was used to making decisions on my own, but clearly, despite being surrounded by others who loved me and those kids I mentored who looked to me for guidance, the pain and loneliness I was experiencing persistently called me to find the tools and the support to discover who I am and how I’ve come to contribute in this life.

So I made a deal with the Universe in my 29th year that if a Higher Power did exist, I wanted to know why I was here.

The indisputable proof I needed: I’d be able to see angels and hear my guides if such phenomena truly existed.

If that request was fulfilled (something I’d secretly desired for many years), I would spend the rest of my life sharing with and teaching others what I would learn.

My demand (truly a heavily disguised prayer) was heard.

And the more I saw and experienced the energy and the teachings of these higher vibrational beings (Guides, Angels, Fairies, Ascended Masters, Archangels, Goddesses—you name it), bit by bit my fears were replaced with loving guidance and my life plan started becoming clearer.

I didn’t immediately learn the easiest or kindest way, however.

Still for some time, I looked outside to relationships and spiritual teachers and mentors who I thought might know better, but eventually, some tough lessons taught me that True Love starts on the inside–always.

I drastically reduced my people-pleasing ways that had me falsely living an empty-soul life built on pretty-looking lies.

I promised myself in 2015 I would not live another year, another month, another moment unless I was doing what I loved and what brought me joy.

Shortly after, at the end of a meditation and an energy process, my angelic guides came to me and told me to change my astrology charts that I’d been doing for almost a decade and call them Love Maps, to write a blog called Love Letters and to make my new adventure all about love.

From this space, Love Matters was born.