This New Moon in Gemini, coming up on June 3rd at 4:01 am MST, has had me thinking about one of the most impactful things someone ever said to me, and I caution you, the delivery was not gentle.
“Your inner child will kill herself if you do another fucking spiritual practice.”
Snapped my usually mild-mannered counsellor.
I imagine at that moment four years ago, my Inner Kid stopped playing with her dolls, mouth agape that anyone would stand up for her in that way, eager to hear how I was going to respond.
I didn’t say much.
Something in me knew that I had heard Truth. I had become a person in a lot of pain, despite ironically being devoted to hours of spiritual practice a day. But the love I had for my practices had turned into an unhealthy habit of spiritual bypass.
Feeling sad? Repeat a mantra 101 times. Is anger flaring up? Tap it away. Have a rash? Do a detox. Feeling anxious? Lay your healing hands on me.
Each one of these practices has tremendous benefits and I wouldn’t stop teaching or using any one of them, but that was never my counsellor’s point.
What I needed to hear that day was that sometimes adults who devote their inner work to spiritual or energy practices have no idea about what the Kid on the inside needs. And she needs you to know something.
She doesn’t care that you’re a Reiki Master, can meditate for hours, stand on your head or channel light language.
She doesn’t care about New Moons and Mercury Retrogrades or past life regressions and our kundalini rising. She’s not impressed about money in the bank, 1,000 friends on FB, the trip you took to Europe, the first draft of your novel, a six-figure income. None of it. Zero.
Your Inner Child wants much simpler things: to bake rainbow cakes and lick the spoon, to put lipstick on your face and colour outside the lines, to dress up a little and play a lot, screaming about the fairies and dragons flying outside Her living room castle.
And she deserves that. She lived through your childhood however it unfolded and I pray yours was kind, but many a Wounded Child have different stories to tell: the break up of the family, the death of a parent, abuse, neglect, bullying, criticism, illness, poverty, homelessness. Too many stories to tell.
Your childhood was unique, and guess what? Your Inner Child was there and she survived.
And she’s smart. She knows you’ve long since moved on, grown up to be a good person who’s gone on to do some great things, but if you’re like most of us, you likely haven’t adequately addressed the aftermath of what you experienced as a child.
When the human child is hurt or undergoes shock and trauma, and that hurt, shock or trauma is not fully healed, the Inner Child will act out, knowing exactly what she’s doing and how to get your attention. She’ll go as far as she needs to for you to love her, hear her, feed her, see her, only her.
How do you know she wants your attention? Often everyday life starts to feel hard. Maybe you’re overgiving or overworking and can’t shake feeling bored or tired, angry or even bitter. You might emotionally eat to keep the feelings at bay, numb out with TV, escape through addictive behaviour. Or if you’re like me, you tap, you do Reiki, you meditate, you repeat mantras–anything but tune in to see what might actually be required.
And it’s not our fault. Most of us were not taught growing up how to nurture ourselves let alone that we should do so in the first place, instead projecting and expecting our needs to be identified and then met by our loved ones.
But it’s our responsibility to learn now. We can start taking care of the Innocent, Inner Child by giving her a voice, by offering her our time, by reassuring her she’s safe.
When the Inner Child feels listened to and trusts you have Her back, the Child begins to thrive, giving you, the adult, more energy to access greater levels of peace and clarity, self-love and self-approval, expansion and creativity. And when that happens, there’s no need to look for any of that outside of ourselves.
So this New Moon maybe there’s an invitation waiting for you, asking you to connect to the light, airy energy of the Gemini way, which is filled with many boisterous characters who love to have fun: the Storyteller, the Jester, the Trickster and the Comedienne.
One of your intentions might be to regularly check in with the Kiddo inside to see how she might be loved and listened to.
Maybe you just need to put your hand on your heart once or twice a day and whisper the words, “I love you. You are safe. I’ve got you.”
Maybe once in a while, it’s about playing like you did when you were a child.
What pretend worlds did you create when you were younger? What toys consumed your time? What games did you take off the shelf and play for hours? Were you the type of kid who immersed yourself in books? Spend hours searching for bugs? Was it for you the joy of throwing a ball around or splashing in the ocean? Or was it the freedom of riding your bike around the neighbourhood with your friends? See what you can remember, and once you do, pick your favourite and do it.
Because the more you listen to the little things that the Child is asking for (and she’s asking for more fun FOR SURE), the easier it’ll be to start responding to the bigger, harder things that life sometimes hurls on our path.
Your effort doesn’t have to be perfect, just straight from the heart.
And that’s why this New Moon…
I’ll be at the river with my Little Girl,
skipping some rocks,
looking for ladybugs,
and some fairy lights in the trees.
What about you?
P.S. Leave your comments below sharing with us what your Inner Child is asking you to do. And if you think someone you love needs to be reminded to come out and play and why that might be important, then please send them this Lunar Love Note as a loving reminder!!